SUPERHERO DADS ROCK!!

My fondest memories of my dad have no basis in cash imbursements.  My memories do not include showing gratitude regarding tuition payments, or the purchasing of school uniforms.  My memories don’t extend to ever wondering how bills were paid once I received my coveted bright orange, daisy-print banana-seat, yellow-basket-in-the-front bike for my ninth birthday.  My fondest memories do, however, include my dad running alongside my bright orange, daisy-print banana-seat, yellow-basket-in-the-front bike while teaching me how to ride all while wearing what I’m pretty sure were uncomfortable dress shoes and socks that looked “slippery”.  My fond memories also include my daddy who eventually rode me on the back of the aforementioned little-girl bike when I fell off, lost interest and just could no longer be bothered ‘cause my girlfriends were playing double-dutch and my best friend Yvette, who wasn’t double-handed, was turning.  My fondest memories ensured me that I was unconditionally loved… my dad was a superhero!  MY superhero!

My dad who I thought was as big as a mountain as a kid and turned out to be only 5’11’ tall and not as hulking as I previously thought once I approached adolescence (and his height) and had to finally stop (with many tears and much ado) making him bend down so I could climb onto his shoulders, which was my preferred mode of transportation.  At almost 5’5’’ tall I’m sure this looked absurd, but my daddy indulged me (much to my mother’s amusement) for as long as he was physically able… because he was a superstar!  MY superstar!

My fondest memories include getting all dressed up early Saturday evenings and going to Serendipity on the UES for no reason at all.  I also remember that my first Tiffany’s blue box that enclosed the most perfect, tiny platinum ring with three tiny inlaid diamonds across the top came from my daddy.  With the ring, came a card that let me know I was adored and cherished.  My dad never missed an opportunity to let me know that I was his Princess and should be treated as such.  This set the stage for my expectations from men going forward.  MY daddy rocked!

How a father treats his daughter will shape how she views herself and how she expects to be treated by other people, but especially men, for the rest of her life.  She needs her dad’s unconditional love and acceptance!  With this she will not crave male love, as she has always had it (we’ve all seen the tragic outcomes of this during adolescence).  Dads play a major role in how girls feel about themselves.  His encouragement and approval help to develop her confidence and feelings of adequacy.  While men judge each other by performance, women often judge each other by physical beauty.  A father who comments on his daughter’s internal qualities gives her a healthy self-image that is not overly dependent on her physical attributes.  It is a father’s duty to help develop her self-esteem by connecting her accomplishments to something not related to her physical beauty, for ultimately she has very little control over that (I was a late bloomer and thank goodness I knew I was a Princess… a narrow-hipped, flat-chested Princess, but a Princess none the less).

 

It’s also very important for a girl to have respect for her dad.  Let’s face it, an adolescent will only abide by her dad’s rules and follow his directives if she respects him.  When she is a young child this obedience may be more fear driven, as fathers represent a natural authority figure.  This will change as adolescence sets in and she realizes that there is nothing forcing her compliance other than her love and respect for her father.  One way to reinforce respect is to speak the absolute truth to her.  When you lie she loses faith in not only you, but men in general as well as in herself as she will believe that she doesn’t deserve honesty.  Transparency is important!  Fathers who can admit when they make mistakes are a blessing to their daughters.  A dad who can admit that he has made a mistake or that he doesn’t know something teachers his daughter to trust in him, and by extension to trust men in general.  Make an effort to be a WayBeyondZ superhero dad!  Your daughter will hold all the fond memories you’ve given her and lessons that you’ve taught her in her heart forever. 

"[Dad] was a unique man who hurtled through life like a geologic force, depositing gold nuggets for me to mine.”
― LeeGale Gruen, Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter's Journey Through a Senior Acting Class

“Daughter, we didn't need your note - or a prince's visit - to tell us you'd done nothing wrong. We know the daughter we raised. We fear for your future, but never for your character. You take our love and our trust wherever you wander. 
Father.” 
― Gail Carson Levine, Fairest