MIDDLE SCHOOL AT 9

Most of my regular readers know a significant amount about my dyslexic son, Jordan, and our circuitous academic journey towards achieving reading fluency.  This post will introduce you to my youngest child, Julia.  Julia, like Jordan, is a tremendously gifted child.  But unlike Jordan, her ability to read and comprehend text way above her grade level and colorfully express her thoughts in writing are pretty impressive, if I do say so myself!

Julia began talking super early, very clearly and she went from cooing to stringing words together into sentences practically overnight.  Julia mostly taught herself to read at three-and-a-half and developed an almost eerie level of spelling accuracy.  Julia once told me that she saw words in her head in colors when people spoke to her.  I didn’t quite understand the weight of this statement when she relayed it to me.  In all honesty, my response was something akin to “how cool is that!” and chalked it up to some nonsensical “kidism”… you know the odd things that little kids say that often don’t make sense, but you don’t dare tell them that for fear of hurting their feelings or worse yet frustrating them by having to explain to a clearly dumb (foggy from fatigue) mommy who lost the ability to think like a kid “way back in the day” as my kids are fond of pointing out (insert Aunt Esther from Sanford and Sons’ sideeye here).  At this juncture, I might add, that Julia had a lot to say, ALL THE TIME, which combined with the fatigue inherently connected with actively parenting two kids born less than two years apart significantly enhanced my mental fog.  Julia chattered from the moment she opened her eyes in the morning until bedtime and beyond as she was, and still is, prone to talking in her sleep!  When around 3-years-old I began to see her ability to retain and utilize vocabulary in her daily speech pick up speed at an amazing rate her “colorful words” comment became clearer, but when she began showing a talent for expressing herself in writing, a few years later, the “colorful words” in her head really took on a grander meaning.

        

Julia’s pre-k experience entailed her being bored and often escorting the school’s admin around to deliver things to various classrooms and helping other kids with spelling their names… not exactly what I was hoping for in a first school year experience.  Julia attended the charter school where Jordan was enrolled for her kindergarten year.  This was a far more fulfilling experience for me; however, she kept getting reprimanded for leaving her seat.  When I asked her why she wasn’t able to remain seated she said, “There are kids who can’t read yet and need my help.”  Unfortunately, this behavior progressed to taking control of the smart board when the teacher was distracted and finally escalated into a spirited back and forth with her first grade teacher, on day 2 of school, over choosing a book in the library.  Julia wanted a chapter book and her teacher insisted on a picture book.  Julia won the argument and the ability to choose her own reading material going forward.  An added bonus was the option to skip the first grade.  The offer was promptly accepted and Julia (and her chapter books) moved across the hall into her new classroom!

There are definitely some immediate benefits to grade skipping.  The most obvious one being that your child will be academically challenged and stimulated by their school work.  For those with a child who is bored stiff in a class where every bit of material presented is material that the child has long ago mastered, they know what it's like to watch their child lose interest in school and have that energy be transferred to less productive activities, like poking around at the smart board.

Julia’s adjustment was seamless and she quit trying to take over the classroom!  Her social interaction with other students improved as she no longer felt the need to mother them.  This seemed to be, at least in part, due to the fact that she was spending more time with children who were a bit older, and generally, a bit more mature than the students who filled her previous class.  Academically advanced children are sometimes often a bit mature for their ages as well. 

Although the effects of grade skipping really do often appear to have some strong benefits for the child throughout their elementary years, once that child enters middle and high school, things can change.  Thankfully, Julia has continued to flourish academically and socially, but my concern is that she is now in middle school just shy of three weeks after her ninth birthday.  Some of her peers are travelling to and from school alone; some are interested in initiating boyfriend/girlfriend-like relationships and not to mention that part of the middle school curriculum includes a sex education class.  In addition, kids who are now, because they are all one to three years older than Julia, well into their puberty transformation, making them not only physically more mature, but sometimes downright huge?  Jesus, hold the wheel!  Thankfully, Julia is pretty tall and does not stand out as being significantly younger, save the still immature body.  Her lack of ‘fatty deposits” doesn’t bother me in the least and quite frankly she hasn’t mentioned it yet, but I’m sure it will become an issue at some point and I would hate for her self-esteem to take a hit as a result.

If this goes well, Julia will enter high school at 13 and will be going away to college at almost 17.  Scary that at this age most kids will have experimented with drugs, alcohol and sex.  Jesus be a fence!  My only advice is to keep the lines of communication open.  I talk to Julia about any and everything openly and honestly.  If I don’t have answers immediately, I find her the answers that she needs and circle back around to her.  I’m hoping she will have a WayBeyondZ year!

“Middle school is kind of like Middle-earth.  It’s a magical journey filled with elves, dwarves, hobbits, queens, kings, and a few corrupt wizards. Word to the wise: pick your traveling companions well.  Ones with the courage and moral fiber to persevere.  Ones who wield their lip gloss like magic wands when confronted with danger. This way, when you pass through the congested hallways rife with pernicious diversion, you achieve your desired destination—or at least your next class.

― Kimberly Dana, Lucy and CeCee's How to Survive (and Thrive) in Middle School