Jordan Rocks the Boat

Jordan is a self-declared rock expert and aspiring geologist.  During the course of his day, he goes about searching for interesting specimens to add to his bourgeoning rock collection.  Seems like an innocuous enough hobby, right?  Not so when you have a difficult mother who doesn’t share your enthusiasm for collecting.  Thanks to my Type-A personality and proclivity for meticulous cleaning Jordan has come up with some very interesting places to secure his rock specimens.  I have unfortunately found rocks stuffed into every pair of his shoes and sneakers, rocks in pants and jacket pockets, rocks in his dresser draws, rocks in his book bag and have even found rocks under his pillow.  This kid really loves rocks!

I’m not the only one who has observed this peculiar behavior characterized by the appearance of misshapen and bulging pockets.  Last summer, an armed TSA agent, who looked like he may have been a professional athlete in another life, detained our family in an airport.  My six year old son, Jordan's pockets were bulging as usual as we funneled into a crowded Manley airport in Kingston and waited our turn to check or luggage and move through the body scanners before entering our gate.  Nothing strange there, Jordan’s pockets were always bulging.  Finally our turn came and we placed our carryon luggage, shoes and contents of our pockets on the scanner.  Our luggage emerged from the other side of the scanner and as we collected our assortment of things, the TSA agent asked for Jordan’s backpack. Jordan ignored him and hoisted his homework-laden backpack onto his shoulders.  (HSA scholars have homework during the summer too!) The TSA agent must have figured that my son hadn’t heard his request… I knew better.  The agent put on a large smile, bent down to Jordan’s eye level and made his request again.  Jordan avoided his eyes and proceeded to move around to stand behind me as though no one had addressed him, all while clutching the straps of his backpack.  Up until this point I had suspected that Jordan was transporting a rock or two across international borders, but really, how serious could that be?  The TSA agent asked us all to step off of the line and follow him.  Jordan’s eyes began to fill with water as the agent led us to the isolated bag scanner at the far corner of the room.  The agent explained that his intent was to investigate the contents of Jordan’s backpack or we were not going to be permitted to board our flight.  This situation was suddenly serious.  I began to notice how overstuffed Jordan’s bag really was.  What in the heck could he really have in there?  I knelt down in from of my son and looked him square in the eyes and asked him what he had in his bag.  He hugged me fiercely and began to wail!   He was begging me not to let anyone take his Sedimentary river rock.  Honestly, I did remember he and his father relaying the story of how they came across this ostrich egg sized, smooth, slate gray rock, but frankly had reached my saturation point with Jordan’s rocks and dismissed the entire thing.  Anyway, Jordan revealed the contents of his bag and the unthinkable occurred.  The situation took an abrupt turn for the worse as the TSA agent said, of all things, the rock could be used as a weapon and was going to be confiscated.  By now a crowd was collecting and, the agent and Jordan were engaged in what would have been a comical tugging match over the overstuffed backpack had Jordan not been hysterical.

I was pleading with this federal agent on behalf of my sweating and crying child, when suddenly my somewhat shy child stood erect and declared in a loud and clear voice that he would not be returning to the United States.  He wiped his face on his jacket sleeve and bravely began to hug and kiss us goodbye! He picked up his rock, placed it back in his backpack and explained his position.  He had decided and it was final!   This rock was special and unless he was allowed to bring his river rock that he dived into the bottom of a waterfall in Jamaica with his father to collect home with him he would not be returning with us.  The agent, evidently moved by this young child’s convictions, relented and my son marched through the gate to the applause of many of our fellow passengers.  Kudos to you my beloved geologist to be!